Sorry Can't Mend A Broken Heart
by fluppy
Summary: When Edward and Bella marry, Edward finds his promise to 'try' more than he is capable of. However, he is still a man, so who will bear the brunt of his desires? And where will that leave the married couple themselves? The final lemon.
1. Chapter 1

This story is entirely the brain child of unique0987654321, I just put the pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard as the case may be). Hopefully it fulfills all expectations....

"I can't do it Bella, I'm sorry. I just....can't."

I gaze own at her beautiful face, her brown hair disheveled, her cheeks bight red, her lips swollen from my kisses.

"I can't risk your life like this."

A solitary tear wobbled on the end of her lashes.

"Edward...you promised."

"I promised I would _try_, love. I have." I lean forward stiffly to stroke the side of her face. "I can't let go with you, it would kill me if I hurt you. I'm sorry love."

She pulls her face out of my hand and it tears at my heart. "Well, change me then, you can stop worrying if you do that."

The thought of her, suffering through that kind of torture...I flinch outwardly.

"Why did you marry me, Edward?" she sounds so weary, my heart breaks for her and again I hate myself. I wish I could have stayed away.

"Because I love you Isabella. I want to be with you forever."

"Whose forever would that be, Edward, your or mine?" She pulls herself slowly up from the bed, scoops up her torn nightgown, frowning. Tosses it aside and rummages instead through her suitcase. I turn my head from the intoxicating sight of her naked body.

"Take me home Edward."

I can hear the hurt and rejection in her voice.

"Please."

I nod infinitesimally, speed to the lounge to collect the things we have strewn around. I bend down slowly to gather up her warn copy of Wuthering Heights. I flick through the pages quietly, listening to her muffled sobs as I run my fingers over the dog eared pages. I truly hate myself for this, for the hurt I know I am causing her. I try to comfort myself with the knowledge that at least it is not physical, emotional scars eventually heal.


	2. Chapter 2

I run straight to our room and lock the door when we return to Forks. I know, even as I do it, it is a wasted effort - he could break open the door with one twist - however I also know he will leave me be, because it's what I want. I throw myself over the gold bedspread, sobbing again; feeling rejected and disgusting, wondering what it is about me that isn't good enough. What it is that lets him _think_ enough to stop. Because I can't think at all when he touches me. When I'm with him, no logic enters my brain, there is nothing but _him_.

A soft knock interrupts my musings.

"Bella?" Alice.

"Go away." I can almost hear her preparing an argument in her head. Then nothing. I sigh in relief.

Not long after I fall asleep to the sound of my own sobs.

* * * * *

The next morning when I wake, the house is quiet. Odd for the Cullen's. I wander downstairs and into the kitchen, which they have kindly stocked for our return. A huge bowl of fruit sits on the bench, and I open the fridge door to anything I could possibly consider eating. I grab a yoghurt and am in the process of hunting out a spoon when I spot the note near the fruit bowl.

_Bella,_

_The rest of the family has gone hunting. I am going away for a couple of days to give you your space. Please don't forget I love you._

_Edward._

I'm still so hurt I briefly consider burning the note. I scrunch it into a ball before I realize what I am doing, then I spread it out carefully on the bench, tracing my finger over his signature. I will always love my Edward, I just wish he would let go.


	3. Chapter 3

**Edward's POV**

I ran for hours until finally I made it to the home of the Denali clan, where I am greeted by an enthusiastic Kate, and an unsure Tanya. I can hear the minefield that is her thoughts; try as I might to ignore them. Her _interest_ screams at me from inside her head. Carmen and Eleazar enter the room, giving me something else to think on.

"Edward!" Carmen sweeps forward, enfolding me in her arms. "What are doing here? Is something wrong? You should be at home enjoying your lovely new wife." She raises her eyebrows with a knowing look.

"Bella...needs some time to adjust." I let out delicately.

Eleazar gazes at me curiously.

"Adjust?" Kate snickers. "I didn't know there was _quite _that much of you, Edward." I smile blandly. Kate thinks nothing over her comment, but Tanya...Fortunately I am practiced at showing no sign of what I hear.

"How long will you be staying, Edward?" she queries, softly.

"Not long. Where is Irina?"

Kate rolls her eyes. "Wandering. She was extremely distressed over Laurent."

I try to understand, truly, but all I remember is how he would have murdered my Bella if it wasn't for the wolves. I cannot muster a great deal of sympathy.

And then, Eleazar starts talking about past get togethers, and I am given a chance to immerse myself in something mundane and simple.

* * * * *

After a few days pleasantly spent with them, I tell Kate it is time I returned home.

"Would you mind some visitors?"

I smile. "Sure, why not. Esme and Carlisle would be delighted." I catch a glimpse of the glee in Tanya's thoughts, and wonder if accepting their request was the right thing to do. Her thoughts are full of enjoying more time with me. I sigh imperceptibly, preparing myself for the times ahead.

"Can I drive?" Kate grins like a maniac. If I wasn't an almost indestructible vampire, I would be terrified.


	4. Chapter 4

I'm not quite sure what to make of the Denali's, just as the first time I met them, at my and Edwards wedding. They seem nice enough, but I can't help but feel jealous, knowing that Tanya used to have a thing for Edward. I try to remind myself it's me he married and he promised countless times there is no one else for him, but still, it's odd having someone in the house who you feel like you have to compete with. Especially when they are a stunning strawberry blond vampire and you are a plain, boring, average human.

Alice constantly throws odd glances my way, too, as if I'm missing some part of the puzzle.

And nights remain the same. I try, in every way I can think of, to make Edward let go, to be with me properly, like the married couple we are, but night after night, he kisses me lightly goodnight and leaves me alone in our bed.

Each time he closes the door behind him, I feel more and more like a child. Like my father closing me out for the night so the adults can have their fun. And each time it clicks into place my heart breaks a little bit more.

I should say something, but it's funny, the more hurt you get, the less likely you are to speak up about it, instead hiding more and more in your own self. So every day, when he wakes me up with a passionate kiss that he stops quickly, and some form of breakfast, I smile and try to pretend nothing is the matter. And for the day, things seem as they always do, I laugh, stumble around tripping over my own feet, feeling close to him...until night falls again and he draws away from me once more.

Tonight I watch Tanya as I feel Edward closing off, and I could swear she looks...happy? I'm probably being paranoid.

Tomorrow...tomorrow I will try something completely new.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Another short chapter, I know, I expect the next one to be a little longer, and more lemony of course. Again, this is for unique0987654312, hope you're still enjoying what I am doing with it (:**

I wince slightly as I pull the last, untried piece of lingerie from my luggage. The only thing I was too embarrassed to even touch to put away.

A lacy (and entirely see through!) black v string, matching sheer negligee, lacy suspenders and stockings. Die.

I can't even look at myself when I get them on, instead focusing on clipping the buckle on the mile high stilettos Alice insisted were perfect for the 'outfit'. I honestly thought an outfit was something where you _couldn't_ see every bit of skin underneath. Apparently not.

I check the time in Edward's room. Ten o'clock. It's sometime around now that he tucks me in and leaves me alone. This time, I'll be waiting.

I frown at the wrought iron bed as I stumble towards it in my shoes. I can't believe I am doing this, but I am entirely desperate. I want to be his wife in every way, no matter how embarrassing. I trip right as I reach the edge, falling face first onto the gold cover. I am so relieved he doesn't choose that moment to walk through the door because I am certain there is nothing at all sexy about some clumsy girl legs flailing, face planted on the bed. _Not_ the image I am attempting to present.

I scramble quickly further up the bed, aware that time runs ever shorter, eventually coming to a rest with one elbow on the pillows, one leg bent slightly. No, lay out straight. No, sit up. Then forward, leaning on my elbows, my knees crossed behind me.

I give up, sliding under the covers.

A soft knock on the door gives me a last minute courage injection, something almost unheard of for me.

"Edward?" I whisper.

"Can I come in, love?"

Every night he makes sure I'm fully changed before he will enter. He calls it privacy. I call it avoidance. Well, there'll be none of either tonight.

"Not yet, give me a minute."

I slide off the side of the bed, landing on my butt on the floor. Before he has a chance to rush in and see what's wrong, I right myself and attempt a graceful walk to the door, flinging it open, and standing pretty much bare naked in front of him.

His golden eyes burn, melting my fears. With one arm he scoops me up off the floor, with the other, the door is already closed. There are no paternal kisses tonight; every press of his lips sears my skin. We fall together onto the bed, still touching, kissing, aflame. I rip at his shirt, in his impatience he pushes my hand away, then his is a blur but the material is scattered across the bed. I moan, delighted and thrilled, and wrap my legs around his waist, legs that somehow are no longer incased in stockings or shoes. The very thin material of my underwear does nothing to bar the cool of his skin, or the heat of mine; it does however increase the sensitivity of my nipples, rubbing against them.

When I reach down to undo his pants...he's gone. I blink rapidly, see him standing, breathing heavily, at the foot of my bed. "I thought you didn't need to breathe." I said stupidly, dazed.

His chest immediately ceases all movement. "I'm sorry Bella. I can't."

The door closes with a soft click as he breezes out, but the sound is drowned for me, by my tears and humiliation.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N Yet another short one (sigh). I am certain they will get longer with time, I just hate to force writing that doesn't sit comfortably...**

**

* * *

**

**Edward's POV**

I can't believe I let myself get drawn away from what's important. I could have killed her! Disgust and desire wash through me. God, but she was beyond words, she broke my determination. It was hard enough to look at her every night, small and perfect in the bed, in my room, wanting me.

But tonight...God. An outfit that showed more than nothing at all would. Creamy skin exposed, her scent burning my nostrils, desire surrounding her like a cloud. I'm amazed and proud of myself that I stopped before I let it get too far, but now...

I click her door shut, closing off temptation, my pants still uncomfortably tight.

And run straight into Tanya.

"Edward." I can see the slight flaring of her nostrils, another flaring in her eyes, hear the thoughts in her mind, know she can see my desperation.

"Tanya."

And then...I give in. If I close my eyes, hold my breath, close my mind...I can imagine it is Bella in front of me. A Bella that is not fragile, human, breakable. One of my hands tangles in her hair, soft and silky, the other skims her low cut top, and the smooth rise of her breasts. I imagine the creamy skin, the shiny brown locks. I scoop up the figure in front of me, running on instinct alone, yet aware enough to take her somewhere other than my own room. The guest room.

She has the sense to say nothing, think little, to keep her sounds minimal and exclusively moans and sighs, so I can dream as I let my senses free, slowly slipping off her and my restrictive clothing. I don't bother with foreplay, because as much as this is a fantasy, my mind and hers remind me consistently this is not actually Bella, so I slip straight in, relief at the feeling of muscles tightening and shifting around me.

I push myself forward quickly, desperate to find release and escape, although I will never escape from the monster I am. A few hurried, pubescent thrusts and I moan, burying my face in her neck to stifle the sound, releasing myself in her.

When I open my eyes and look into Tanya's very satisfied face and mind, I hate myself even more. I see her belief that she has me now; not malicious, just certain. I groan, and move off her, inundated by the thoughts of my family, all horrified, all except Rosalie, who is completely unsurprised and triumphant.

_I knew this whole situation with Bella would become a nightmare._ She thinks smugly. _What now, lover boy?_

The others ask variations of the same question in slightly different tones- Carlisle and Esme disappointed; Jasper, able to feel my emotions, considerably less disturbed but still uncomfortable; Alice and Emmett irate. My only relief lies in the fact that the remaining Denali's are out hunting and don't know what happened. Yet. But I do. How will I look Bella in the eye?

My Bella. Now that I have let go of the self imposed mental isolation I can hear her distress, her tears, from down the hall.

And I am certain I have no soul.

Because this isn't the worst part...knowing I will probably do it again is.


	7. Chapter 7

**Bella's POV**

The following morning I feel like everyone _knows_. They all look at me as though I have grown an extra head, or something along those lines.

Rosalie manages to look more smug and beautiful than ever, Alice and Jasper pitiful. Emmett down right furious.

I shovel down a bowl of cereal as fast as I can, counting the minutes until Edward comes and I can escape.

I'm still waiting ten minutes later when Esme finally takes pity on me.

"He's out hunting, Bella."

"With Tanya." Rosalie snickers.

Alice glares in her direction, and I feel even more like I am missing something important.

"And the rest of the Denali clan." Carlisle inserts.

Rosalie snickers again.

I flee.

* * * * *

I lay on our bed, the one we're supposed to share, but has turned out to be really just for me, flicking idly through the pages of Sense and Sensibility, determined to escape into Jane Austen's world. The door opens quietly, and I turn my head to see Edward standing there, not a hair out of place, as usual.

"Edward!" My book is forgotten as I leap off the bed towards him. Typically my leap is nowhere near graceful, in fact I catch my foot on the edge of the bed and he has to fly forward to catch me.

His marble arms tighten around me briefly before he drops me gently to the floor.

"My Bella."

His cold hands cling tightly to my shoulders as his amber eyes melt.

"My sweet Bella."

Stone lips press softly against mine.

My hands find their own way into his bronze hair, and for once he pulls me closer instead of pushing me away. I make the most of the moment, clinging to him desperately.

I try to fight the end, but he untangles my hands form his hair, turns his face from mine.

To the stunning strawberry blonde leaning against the door frame looking miffed.

"Tanya."

"Edward."

I feel Edward's arm tighten imperceptibly around my waist where he has left it.

"Is there something I can do for you, Tanya?"

The bitterness in his voice surprises me; it's a tone I rarely hear him use.

"Yes, actually."

"I already showed you around this morning."

Something flares in her eyes, and she smiles.

"Yes, you did."

I can feel something in this conversation going over my head. "Can you excuse me love?"

I nod, and his arm drops away from my waist. "I'll be back." He kisses me softly on the forehead.

I watch the space where he retreated trying to piece together the bits that I am missing.

* * * * *

**Edward's POV**

I go straight to Bella the moment we arrive home from our hunting trip, guilty and depressed. The sight of her face warms the ache where my heart should be, and her usual clumsiness brings forth a smile.

I ignore the calls of my family as I lean in to kiss her warm mouth, sweet and tempting in every possible way, the thrum of her blood in her veins and her heart in her chest ringing in my ears.

Until thoughts I can't ignore scream at me from behind.

_What are you doing Edward? I've been waiting..._

"Tanya."

_Of course, who else would it be?_

"Edward."

_Why are you with her when I have something special planned...?_

"Is there something I can do for you, Tanya?" I glare at her.

_There's something you can do _to _me, Eddie._

"Yes actually."

"I already showed you around this morning."

_Me and my whole family. Now it's time for just the two of us..._"Yes, you did."

The images she throws at me break my resolve.

"Can you excuse me love?"

I feel her nod, but I can't turn at look at her face.

"I'll be back." Closing my eyes I press my lips to her forehead, drinking in her scent, holding the memory in as I leave Bella to follow Tanya to the guest room.

**Rosalie's POV**

I listen as Edward tries to keep his footsteps as silent as possible, but we hear, all of us, even the Denali's.

The guest room door clicks closed and Alice sighs, her focus somewhere in the future. "This can not end well." She mutters.

Of course not, what did I say from the first time he became infatuated? They're both getting precisely what they deserve.

I did always like Tanya.

I can imagine her as a sister-in-law.


	8. Chapter 8

**Bella's POV**

Days pass with the same odd intensity. Edward seems to get closer then pull away, everyone looks at me strangely, including the Denali's now. Rosalie has this new habit of laughing every time I go past.

I know I'm not a complete idiot, but for some reason I just can't quite put my finger on what's happening...

**Tanya's POV**

I don't know what's the hardest; watching Edward with Bella and the jealousy I feel, being with him and knowing all the love and passion we share is not directed exclusively at me, or watching the turmoil of his wife as she stumbles around, sensing, yet for the most part oblivious.

I wish I could stop myself, but I have been in love with Edward for as long as I can remember. He likes to joke about my (liking) of human men, but what he never understood was that it was all because of him. Every one of them had something about them that reminded me; his wavy hair, his pale skin...

A sick obsession, maybe? Isn't love usually that way though?

I cringe as Bella walks past; and I feel guilty and jealous.

**Rosalie's POV**

I can't help but grin. The sad puppy face that Bella wears constantly does nothing for me but make me laugh harder. The glares Edward sends my way just makes me raise my eyebrows in even more amusement - what does he expect? A happy ending? The only person I feel sorry for is Tanya, used to sate a passion he refuses to take out on his weak human wife, so desperate to be close to him she'll take anything.

God, they should be on Jerry Springer.

**Edwards POV**

If I wasn't a vampire I would be shifting in my seat. Instead I become stiller and stiller as I listen to the thoughts running through the minds of the house. Tanya wanting, believing herself in love, Bella unsure and hurting, Rosalie amused, Alice, still peering forward, trying to find a definite ending to all this. I like the one she found where Tanya went home. Unfortunately that one lasted for only a moment. Carmen and Eleazar are with Esme and Carlisle - disapproving of both of us, but leaving us to our own devices. My own family's feelings haven't changes; the only reason Emmett hasn't called me out is because then Bella would _know_. Sometimes I wonder if that wouldn't just be easier.

I hear Bella moving around upstairs, quiet footfalls punctuated by loud bangs. Falling again. Rosalie's smile widens, she seems to enjoy any sort of pain Bella experiences. I sigh, and stand, wanting to help her, wanting to be with her, hold her.

Tanya misinterprets my intentions, rising at the same time I do.

I walk doggedly towards the stair case, closely followed by her, rejoicing in the idea of what she'd like to do to me. My family yells at me again.

_Edward, you're just making it worse! _Alice, that one

_You know I'm going to beat you to a pulp, brother or not, I really am. _Emmett of course.

_I really hope you know what you're doing, Edward. _Carlisle.

_Ha! You are so predictable! Poor little Isabella. _Who else but Rosalie.

I swear, my intention when I head up the stairs is to be with Bella, truly. But we have to pass the guest room, and the door is open, and Tanya has started washing her hair with the same shampoo Bella uses, and I can't help it. My feet take me the wrong way even as my head screams to stop.

This time, I'll pay the price.

**A/N The next chapter is almost done, I hope to have it up within a couple of hours, I feel they kind of need to go together. Again, all credit for the idea has to go to unique0987654321.**

**Please review if you like it - we'd both like to know what you think (I'm sure)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Bella's POV**

I hear footsteps on the stairs; wait anxiously for Edward to come to me, like he always does when I am miserable. Instead the sound stops down the hall, at the Cullen's guest room. I assume I must have been wrong; it must have been one of the Denali clan seeing as that is the room they have been using for their clothes and such.

Thinking of Edward has made me miss him, even though we are only meters apart. The strange distance between us has made me feel lonely quite a lot lately.

I wander back down stairs, looking over to his piano, where he was sitting before, but no longer. Rosalie snickers behind me.

"Try the guest room, Bella."

A chorus of hissing and growling greets her words.

"Thanks Rose."

* * * * *

Thanks. What a pathetic pushover I am. Rosalie leads me straight to my own personal hell, and I _thank_ her for it.

My own personal hell being the sight that greets me when I open the guest room door expecting to find only Edward, and instead find a tangle of pale gleaming limbs, desperate panting, thunderous clashing that I am amazed I couldn't hear earlier.

A cascade of strawberry blonde hair.

A tousled bronze head.

My breath catches in a hiss, which wouldn't have been noticed had the two sharing a bed been human. But they're not, and two faces turn immediately upon me, both shocked.

One guilty, remorseful, embarrassed.

The other...well, Edwards face is something I will never forget.

Not quite hand in the cookie jar, more...resigned.

"Tanya, I think you had better go." Edward climbs, I say _climbs _and I see red as I watch, off Tanya, quickly passing her clothing to her in a movement I barely see.

"Yes." I hiss, more angry and hurt than I have ever been. "Get out."

She streaks from the room, and I catch a faint whiff of my shampoo. Not only my _husband_, but my _toiletries_?

"Bella."

The tears welling in my eyes probably lessen the glare I send his way. "Oh, so you remember who I am, then?"

He flinches as if I have hit him. I like it. It makes me feel better.

"Please let me explain, Bella. It's not what it seems."

I laugh bitterly. "It's not what it seems? How do you plan on excusing this as something else? You know what, if it's not what it seems, then what is it? _Prove_ to me I'm wrong." I wait, glaring.

"You know what I think? I think I just saw my husband _fucking _another woman. Don't try and tell me you thought it was _me_ or some shit like that." My chest heaves as I yell; letting him feel the force of everything I am going through right now.

"So please, tell me I'm wrong, I must be wrong, surely you wouldn't do this to me." I fall to my knees now, sobbing. "You told me you loved me. You swore it was only me, and no one else. Please! Please tell me I imagined this, it isn't really happening. I'm begging you. Tell me I'm wrong."

He lays one cool stone hand on my back and I shift angrily, forcing it off.

"I'm so sorry, Bella."

My resolve tightens, even as my heart breaks.

"So am I."

I climb unsteadily to my feet and run down the stairs, losing my footing and almost falling flat on my face.

For once though, I catch myself and I keep running, right out the front doors, completely ignoring the rest of the family. I run into the trees screaming and crying.

Eventually I do fall, and I stay exactly where I am whimpering and crying.

Alice finds me only minutes later.

"Bella?"

"Leave me alone, Alice. You all must have known." I direct my anger at her as I realize the truth in what I am saying.

"Why didn't you stop him, or warn me? Why didn't someone _do_ something? Why did you let me find that? I _hate _Rosalie." I remembered her smug face clearly as she told me where to look.

"I'm sorry Bella, we didn't..."

"I don't want your excuses Alice."

"Is there something I can do?"

I remain seated, my chest heaving with anger and grief. Finally, I grasp hold of something that may be able to save me.

"Take me to La Push."

"Bella, you know I can't."

"Don't you think you owe me at least _that much_?"

Her face becomes resigned.

"Yes. Yes, I guess I do."

She sweeps me up, still crying, into her marble arms.

"I really am sorry." Then we run. To my sun. The only person who can help me.


	10. Chapter 10

Alice lowers me slowly to the ground at Jacob's front door, frowning but looking guilty and resigned.

"Bella..."

"Just...just don't say it, Alice. Don't."

She nods at me uncomfortably, the frown disappearing as the ruefulness takes over.

"Okay. Should I tell anyone...?"

"Don't say a word. Please. I need this time to myself."

Our conversation is interrupted by a light flickering on in the house. I wait quietly, and Alice looks even more out of place.

"Bella!" Jacob's whole face lights up when he opens the door. Until he sees who I'm with.

"Alice." Her name comes out as a snarl. "I could rip you to pieces, you know. Treaty rules and all."

She opens her mouth to protest, but I squeeze my opinion in first.

"I asked her to bring me, Jake. She runs a lot faster than I ever could." I step closer to him, my cold chest already feeling warmed by his presence alone. "She's just leaving now."

I stare at her directly.

She turns away from me slightly. "When would you like me to come back?" Her voice holds little hope.

"I'll return when I'm ready. Thanks Alice."

She runs back into the trees followed by Jakes malicious laughter. "Watch out for wolves!"

Finally he stops laughing long enough to notice my distress.

"Bells? Are you alright?"

"No, Jake. I'm definitely not alright."

I spend the reminder of the day telling Jacob about what I saw, and everything I have been feeling recently. His face grows visibly tighter with every word.

"I'll kill him."

"Jake, he's still my husband."

"Do you think that would stop me? Does he have no idea how lucky he is? What an asshole. I swear, Bella, I will kill him for this."

Tears trickle down my cheeks.

"Oh, my Bella." He says, wiping them away with his fingertips. "Why couldn't you have just stayed with me? You know I would have made you happy. I would never be with anyone but you, I would never need to. You've always been everything I've ever wanted."

I pressed my cheek into his palm, the heat of his skin comforting.

"I know, Jake. But I can't help it, I love him."

The warmth was removed from my face. When I looked at him, Jacob's mask was back in position.

"I still don't understand how you could, though. Especially now."

The tears begin again. "I just...he's..."

"Please don't tell me how wonderful he is. I can't possibly listen to that right now."

I nod slowly, lowering my face to hide my tears.

"Why did you come here?" He asks me harshly. "To cry on my shoulder? Did you think I could make it all better for you? I don't understand, Bella. What's the point to this?" He spreads his arms wide.

"I..." I'm not even sure exactly why he was the first person I turned to.

"Do you know what you do to me when you do this? Throw yourself in my face, the one thing I want that I can't have? You tear me to pieces, Bells."

His eyes bore into mine.

"Why didn't you go home to Charlie? He'd be better for you than I would."

"You are the only person I thought of."

He huffs out a laugh. "Great. Last resort Jake."

"No! No, Jake, it's nothing like that! You're my best friend!"

He snorts.

The tears start again, and I can't hold them back enough to say another word. His eyes soften as he looks at me. One warm arm slips around my shoulders.

"You can take my bed, Bella." His other arm slips behind my knees and he caries me bridal style to his bedroom. "I'll take the couch. Stay as long as you need."

I cry myself to sleep, images of Edward and Tanya burning behind my eyelids.

* * * * *

The following day is no better. I lay miserably in bed as Jacob tries to tempt me with everything he can think of. He even drags his pack around, on the off chance that might help. It doesn't, and all I hear from his kitchen are vows of revenge. I don't want revenge. I want...to go back, pretend it never happened, and maybe just never have seen anything. Denial, denial, denial.

Jacob comes in at what I assume is lunchtime, bringing me a sandwich and a soda, and sits at the end of his bed, frowning at me as I ignore the food.

"You have to eat something."

"I feel sick. I can't."

He sighs impatiently.

"Bells, you're heartsick, sure, but if you don't eat, you really _will_ be sick. And have you forgotten who the doctor is around here?"

Carlisle. He's right; I just can't deal with any of them right now. I nibble at the crusts.

"That's better." He smiles at me. Are you up for any excitement today?"

I glare at the sandwich in my hand. "Definitely not."

He smiles genially, shrugging. "I'll be in the lounge if you need me."

Jacob always did know just what I needed, and right now, I could ask for nothing more than time and isolation.

* * * * *

I watch the clouds slowly scud across the sky outside Jakes window, listen to the dull sounds of the TV, the occasional laughter of Jake himself. I hear Billy arrive him, from fishing it sounds like, Jacob telling him about my visit, although not the exact details.

I'm thankful for that.

Bully leaves me in peace, and so does Jacob.

Another night passes, another night where my grief tires me out, and I fall into a nightmare filled sleep.

* * * * *

"She's not here."

I wake to the sound of Jacob's angry but hushed tone.

"I don't care what Alice said."

I listened closer, as though if I did I could hear the voice on the other end of the line.

"Or what she thought either."

An angry hiss.

"Of course I wouldn't let you speak to her."

A sigh.

"I don't care. I won't let you near her."

Silence.

"You're not pinning this on me. This is your problem. I'm sure if she wanted to come back she would. I wouldn't stop her."

A snort.

"Nice. You think you can make excuses?"

Snide laughter.

"You're a fool. Don't bother calling again." I hear him slam the phone back into the cradle, begin muttering profanities.

I roll slowly out of bed, belatedly realizing I am wearing the same clothes I showed up in two days ago. I'm sure I must smell disgusting. I stumble down the hallway, watch for a while as he slams cupboards and drawers, looking for something.

"Jake?"

He jumps as if bitten.

"Bella! Sorry, I didn't know you were awake." He looks sheepishly at the open drawer he was about to shut. "I hope all my noise didn't wake you."

"No, I was already awake."

His face falls slightly. "Did you..."

I cringe. "Yes, I heard. Thanks."

His face relaxes. "It's alright. Are you hungry?"

"No, but I could really use a shower."

"Sure, sure. Just down the hall to your left. I'll grab you something to change into."

I smile my thanks and wander back the way I came.

The hot water feels nice on my head and shoulders, comforting and relieving, washing away the pain.

The bathroom door opens, and Jacob steps in.

I swallow my embarrassment. The glass is completely see through.

**A/N - LOL see what did I say about longer chapters eventually? Things just have to get into their stride...this should be updated tomorrow (or possibly later today, depends on where you are!!) I'm sure you are as eager to see what's next as I am to post it (:**


	11. Chapter 11

**Jacob's POV**

I am so used to living in a house with no females; I think nothing of wandering into the bathroom when the shower is on. Of course, usually it isn't a very naked and wet Bella in there, either, so normally I wouldn't be fazed.

Seeing as this time it is, my reaction is something both unexpected and unsurprising.

I stop still in the doorway, my breath stuck in my throat. The partition hides nothing. Every inch of Bella's creamy skin and wet dark hair is accessible to my eyes. I immediately forget that she has come here for my help, has come to escape the misery her husband has put her through. I feel exactly like the horny teenager I am. Entirely turned on.

Her huge chocolate brown eyes stare at me in shock and horror, reminding me of what I owe her. I lift the pants I brought in for her to cover my eyes.

"Sorry, Bells."

I start to turn, to place the clothes on the rail for her and leave, but I am stopped by a wet hand on my bare arm.

"It's ok, Jake."

Her eyes are filled with an emotion I can't recognize. Pain, and...a fanatical light.

"They'll be a bit large..." I stumble over my words at the renewed sight of her, bare naked before me.

"I don't need them Jake." I understand what it is in her eyes now, and I can't turn away. She sees me as her revenge. "I need you."

**Bella's POV**

It takes seconds for the idea to register in my thoughts. Jacob has always wanted more from me, has always wanted me to choose him over Edward. I could give Jacob some of what he wants and I could pay _him_ back at the same time, if only I have the guts to take things all the way with Jacob.

I swallow hard.

I'm still a virgin, after all.

This is new to me.

I step slowly out of the shower; ignoring the clothing Jacob has raised to block me from his view.

"Sorry Bells."

My hand caresses his bare arm, slowly, unsure.

"It's ok, Jake."

"They'll be a bit large..."

"I don't need them Jake. I need you."

Like a deer in the headlights he stares at me blankly. I begin to shiver, thinking about how stupid this is, expecting him to just bow to what I want, and screw the consequences. Then he opens his arms, his eyes warming, his gaze raking my body.

"I need you, too." He says huskily. I sigh my relief as I step into him.

* * * * *

**Jacob's POV**

I should feel guilty. Especially knowing she was a virgin before I took her to my bed. But I don't. I feel...thankful. And hopeful. I remind myself that she can divorce him, stay with me. He probably won't want her anymore, after this. I smile to myself as I pull her more tightly into my embrace, imagining her staying with me.

In the darkness she rolls in her sleep, groaning. Her eyes slowly flutter open, first surprised, then determined. We continue on.

* * * * *

**Bella's POV**

When I wake the second time sunlight pours in the window and my entire body aches. I feel overwhelmed by guilt.

In the final moments of this mornings early hours, as Jacob gave me all of himself, he told me he loved me. I guess he thought my tears were of happiness; instead they were tears of misery. I can't stay, I can't return his love. Even after everything I still love Edward; I knew I would go back eventually. Jacob was my revenge. Even though in truth I owed him so much more.

Every time I needed him, he was there, no question of it.

And I have used him. Again.

I roll over, watching his face, so smooth and calm in sleep. I run my fingers lightly across his cheekbones, his eyelids. I do love Jacob, in my way. If it wasn't for something stronger, I could have been happy here with him. He proved that again to me last night, being so gentle with me.

His eyes open slowly, drowsily.

"Bells. You're still here."

"Of course I am Jake."

"I half expected you to run out on me in the night."

"I would never do that to you."

He raises himself up on one elbow, his eyes probing.

"But you're not staying, either. Are you?"

"I'm sorry, Jake. I can't."

He nods slowly. "I guess I knew you wouldn't." His eyes are sad. "Do you regret coming here?"

I lean forward to kiss him gently on the lips.

"I'll never regret any time I spend with you, Jake."

His face takes on a harsh look, and he smiles. "Can you do one thing for me, Bells?"

I raise an eyebrow, wondering precisely what he wants a replay of. He shakes his head. "Nothing like that. I will cherish last night, but it will stay exactly as it is, I don't want to sour my memories." His eyes close and a kind of peacefulness crosses his features.

Then he's looking at me again, and the fierceness has returned.

"Let me take you home, Bella."


	12. Chapter 12

I shiver slightly as we cross the Cullen's front lawn. It didn't take me long to figure out why Jacob might want to walk me home; he couldn't have me, but he could make Edward pay in the most painful way he could think of - with his memories. Just like the time Edward left me, and Jacob picked up the shattered pieces of my spirit, using the images of me to revenge himself. This would be a thousand times worse.

I half expected Edward to greet us at the door, his amber eyes furious. Instead, Alice was perched on the banister, watching us in mute agony.

"Bella." She murmured as we closed in, Jacob's hand resting on the small of my back. "I'm glad you're home."

"_Are_ you, Alice?"

She flinched, as if I hit her.

"Of course I am, Bella. I love you. You're my sister."

"Don't sisters protect each other?"

"I thought I was Bella. I'm so sorry."

I snort in derision, walking right past her into the house. And encountering the last person I ever wanted to see. Rosalie.

"Bella! I thought you'd left us for good?"

I glared. Hoped, was more like it.

"Edward's not here. He's taken Tanya back to Denali."

Jacob's hand slipped from my back to encircle my waist as the words filtered through. He was _still _with _her_.

I felt my knees buckle.

Rosalie grinned at me, her expression so smug, I would have loved nothing more than to wipe it right off her face.

"And you couldn't possibly have stopped that, could you leech?" Jacob's voice hissed through the ringing in my ears.

The smug expression became even more malicious. "Well, it was his place. He brought them here after all."

A blur flashed past us and Rosalie was knocked to the ground. When the shapes became something recognizable I saw Alice sitting on Rosalie's chest, her pixie face screwed up in anger. "Haven't you done enough damage, Rose?"

"Hey. I didn't push Edward and Tanya together."

Alice growled, low in her throat.

Jasper and Emmett entered the fray just as Alice bent her head for punishment of the more lasting kind, pulling the girls away from each other.

"C'mon girls. Enough's enough." Emmett held Rosalie loosely in his arms. "Rose." He murmured. "Can't you just stay out of it?"

Jasper had Alice turned towards him, was whispering in her ear.

Jacob pulled me to the couch. "I think I'll hang around until Edward gets back." He pulled me into his lap as he sat. "We need to have a little chat."


	13. Chapter 13

Jacob picks the remote up off the coffee table and flicks on the sports channel, his arm remaining lightly around my shoulders.

I huddle into him, Alice's baleful expression never wavering from my face. Jasper sends continual calm feelings toward me but for the first time ever, they do next to nothing.

I am ashamed, but I am happy. I am angry, but I am sad. I want to hurt Edward, as badly as I possibly can, but I want him to be happy.

I wonder if I can ever forgive him for the mess he put me into.

I wonder if I can ever forgive myself for retaliating.

I wonder if Jacob will ever forgive me for using him like this.

I wring my hands, my misery making itself known in a physical way. Jacob leans closer to me, truing his mouth to my ear, even as his eyes remain on the screen.

"Relax, Bells."

"But, Jake. How can you ever..."

"Bella. I knew what you were about the minute you touched my arm. Don't feel bad. You gave me the most precious gift, whatever the reason was for it. I'll treasure that, even long after you've forgotten all about me."

"I'll never forget about you, Jacob."

He shrugs his arm tightening around my shoulder.

"Plus." He murmurs. "You had your revenge. This will be mine."

* * * * *

Two more hours pass before Jacob's head and spine stiffen, his nostrils flaring. "Ah." A slow smile spreads across his face. I smell cheating leech."

I cringe at his comment, and he tightens his grip again.

He continues to smile and begins humming 'I'm Too Sexy."

"Jake, what are you...?"

"Savoring the moment. I don't want to think a thing until he's right in front of me."

He continues to hum as Alice and I watch the door. Jasper moves to stand behind Alice, his hands on her shoulders.

The door opens slowly, cautiously.

"Jacob Black?" Edward steps through and crosses the living room, staring wide eyed at Jakes arm around me.

And then Jacob lets loose. I know because I can see all of it register on Edwards face. Disbelief, shock, hurt, anger, resignation.

Seeing him there, I remember the last time we spoke, right after I had caught him with Tanya. My eyes narrow, and I enjoy the show.

"What...you..." Edward spluttered, his agonized amber gaze jumping from my face to Jacob's and back again. "I..." He slumped heavily onto his piano bench.

"Well, what leech? There's nothing you can possibly say to her."

"No." Edward hissed. But there is plenty I could say to you."

Jacob snorted. "Well, isn't that hypocritical. I don't recall Bella mentioning anything about setting your _Tanya_ on fire."

"She's not my Tanya." He responded wearily.

"Sure, sure." Jacob dropped his arm from my shoulder, but not before I felt the trembling along his skin.

"Let's take this outside, bloodsucker."


	14. Chapter 14

I watch through the glass as Jacob phases and paces back and forth, waiting for Edward. My gaze travels between them, horrified at what has happened.

Edward studies him, as I do, for a moment, then removes his coat with a sigh.

"What are you doing?" Jasper has moved to stand right behind him. "This is madness."

"It is the very least I can do." He says slowly. "After all the damage I have done."

"Edward..." I begin. His eyes turn to look at me sadly. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I shouldn't have done what I did. You deserve better." His gaze drifts back to the enormous wolf outside, awaiting him. "You deserve someone more like him. Someone who can be there for you, in every way."

"What are you saying?" I hiss. "That you want me to stay with him?"

"No." Alice croaks.

"Alice. I should, I know it." Edward straightens his shoulders, lifts his head. "It's what I deserve."

I understand then, what she has seen.

"Oh no you don't." I say angrily. You are not walking out there to martyr yourself. You are going to stay here and make this up to me, for the rest of eternity."

"I can never make up for what I have done." And with that, he strolls out to his doom.

"No!" I scream, and run out after him.

Not fast enough. Jacob flies to Edward, the second he steps out the door, teeth flashing, claws scrabbling. Edward stands still, unflinching, as the huge wolf races towards him. I know he can see Jacobs mind, could stop any blow, but instead he remains frozen, waiting for the attack.

"No!" I scream again, running forward, but my legs feel like they are lead, and my heart feels fit to burst, and still he seems much too far away. I reach out, wishing I could pull him away, that I could pull them apart from each other. Some part of me is amazed that neither Alice nor Jasper have stopped me yet.

I love them both, my husband and my best friend. I don't want this, this war over me, even though in some part of my, I always thought it would be inevitable.

Jacob always felt that he 'owed' Edward for leaving me, and I know Edward always worried that one day I would realize I had made a mistake by promising to stay with him. Even with what he has done to me I could never do anything but love him, and the same goes for Jacob, who would forgive me anything, no matter how callous.

Again I feel relief that Edward can't read my mind, because finally, finally, I step between them.

Jacob is already in midair, claws outstretched, ready for attack.

In the split second before his claws find purchase I see the pain and fear flicker in his enormous eyes, feel the hiss of indrawn breath behind me.

And then pain, as I have never known, not even from James.

The claws tear into my body at the same time I am ripped to the side.

The coppery tang of blood invades my nostrils, and I look down.

Across my chest are three massive gashes, shooting blood.

My head swims.

"Oh." I mumble as I fall.

Faintly, I feel two pairs of arms grab me, and then.....nothing.

**A/N - Ok, so I swear I hear you saying longer...but they just don't make sense to me when I try!! Also, again, all kudos to unique0987654321, for her brainchild.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Jacob's POV**

On one side of the bed, there's me. On the other, _him_. This is our fault.

The unmoving body on the bed.

The dark hair loose on the pillow.

The face paler than I have ever seen it.

Our Bella.

Under the blankets her bandaged body, the marks of my attack slowly healing.

Yet still she remains unconscious.

Edwards leans his face against the bed. "Bella." He mumbles. I wish I could say something. Anything. I can't.

My chest burns. My eyes ache. My night with Bella plays over and over in my mind. Our happy time. Maybe our last happy time.

I wonder what Edward is thinking.

I lay my hand over hers on the blankets.

**Edwards POV**

My Bella.

I can hear everything going through Jacobs mind, see again what my actions caused her to do.

The saddest thing is...she was happy.

I could have had that.

Instead I have this.

My poor, broken Bella, lying barely there in a sterile hospital bed.

Carlisle is doing his best, but the wounds were so deep, and her mental anguish so great...I fear that she may never wake, I may never see her chocolate eyes sparkle with life.

My head flicks up at Jacob's stray thought.

"What?" I whisper.

He frowns at me. "Must you do that?"

"What was that thought?"

"You know why ask?"

"Because...I would need your permission."

He scowls. "It has to be better than this."

Should I? After all the fighting over it...was I wrong? Was this always the right way?

**Jacob's POV**

It only crossed my mind for a second, an afterthought almost. If only he had turned her when she asked, the he would never have felt he needed to stay away from her, never would have gone to someone else. Then we'd never be here.

His face shot up at that thought, and I got really mad. Why was it he had to interfere everywhere? Even in my own head.

"I would need your permission." He states. My permission. Great, so now I had to _allow_ him to keep her away from me forever. Then I look down at her face, so distant.

Anything would be better than this.

"Carlisle." He says softly.

And it begins. The plan to remove her, to change her. For me to say goodbye forever.


	16. Chapter 16

**Jacob's POV**

If I wasn't so concerned, I would be seriously amused. The sneaky, dead of the night removal of a critical patient...like some seriously ridiculous soap opera.

I stand guard. It's the least I can do for my Bella.

Considering this is my fault.

Considering they're my claw marks on her skin.

Considering my hands are tainted with her blood.

Carlisle and Edward whisk her out into the darkness, and are gone before I can even say goodbye.

Instead I phase and howl my hope for her survival in any form.

* * * * *

**Edward's POV**

I hold my Bella tightly in my arms as I run, quietly begging her silent form to forgive me.

Carlisle glances at me occasionally, pitying.

This is all my fault.

Her blood is on my hands.

I have to make it better.

I race through our house, bursting into my untouched bedroom, the covers still mussed by Bella.

I hold her in one arm, straighten the sheets with another, and then place her gently in the centre.

"I'm sorry, my love, truly I am." I sigh, gazing on her inert form. This will never be enough, not even close.

Carlisle slides silently into the room, a silver syringe in his hand.

Titanium, the only metal my venom will not destroy.

I take it from him and slip from the room. Leaving Carlisle to watch over my heart.

**Bella's POV**

We're in our meadow, Edward and I. It's just us, just the way it should be. I lay in his arms, the faintest whisper of a breeze lifting my hair slightly so it tickles my face, one of my favorite feelings.

The grass is covered by tiny flowers that all seem to me like they must be happy.

Who wouldn't in this perfect setting?

We lay this way for hours, the sun warming my skin, and even his for once.

Until the dark clouds pass overhead.

I start, disappointed, but Edward merely smiles, releasing me and opening his arms wide to the slow drops of rain that begin to fall.

I cower alone and chilled now, under my coat.

He keeps his face averted from me, concentrating on the beating water.

The rain splashes my cheeks, like teardrops.

Finally, _finally_, the sun pushes the clouds away, for the briefest moment. I see the sparkle the rain has left behind on the leaves, the colors so much brighter thanks to the light beaming down.

Everything here seems to move oddly, time speeds then slows, the wind blows, then freezes.

And then the pain starts.

A burning agony, as though I am on fire, but I see no flames.

Edward watches calmly.

"I'm so sorry." Are the only words he has for me.


	17. Chapter 17

**Bella's POV**

It feels like I burn forever, and even though I just want to die, I keep on burning. At least my mind finds some way to stay sane: remembering.

Remembering Edward, and what he had done.

Remembering Jacob and what he did for me in return.

I will forgive Edward. Eventually.

I have more in store for him, though, once the burning goes away...if it ever does.

**Edwards POV**

I wish now, more than any time ever before I could see my Bella's thoughts. To know whether she could ever forgive me, whether this is really what she wanted...

I will never forgive myself, though. And not just for Bella...

Rosalie managed to talk the rest of Tanya's family into taking themselves home, to stir the pot a little further I am sure, so it ended up her and I and a long drive back to Denali.

A very long, very difficult drive.

I had thought, even through my stupidity, she saw things the same way I did, _convenient_ the most apt word I can think of, after all, she was the original succubus.

I was more wrong than I could have imagined...

_"We could stop along the way Edward."_

_"Sorry, Tanya, I can't. I should never have..."_

_"Well, it doesn't have to be all night..." Her eyebrows wiggled, even as a grin spread across her face._

_"Tanya." I stated flatly. "I'm not interested. I've done enough damage, I'll be lucky if Bella hasn't run straight off to get a divorce."_

_"So what if she has?" _

_I would have liked to be angrier, but hers wasn't the tone of a bitter someone, it was truly curious._

_"Tanya, what are you saying?"_

_"Don't you think you and I are far better suited, Edward? After all, she's still human, things won't change when I go home, the same things that drew you to me will still be there."_

_"You don't understand Tanya."_

_"No, you're right, I don't. I thought you loved me."_

_My mouth tightened. "Tanya, if I ever did anything to lead you on..."_

_"_If_? You don't consider sleeping with me leading me on?"_

_"I thought you understood."_

_"Understood what? That you were a selfish jackass? I'm in love with you, I have been forever, you know that! I thought when you accepted, it meant it was _me_ you wanted!"_

_"I'm sorry Tanya, I truly am..."_

All I seem to be now is sorry. Sorry that for the rest of the trip she tried to hide her silent sobs, impossible around those like us. Sorry she feels that way about me. Sorry mostly for all this does to my Bella...I am a monster, I really am.

**Bella's POV**

The burning moves, centers itself around my heart. I feel certain it is going to explode, which seems to me ironic and perfect.

The beats begin to thrum so quickly, it's more humming than beating. I feel my chest pulled up, desperate to release the fluttering fire in it. And then...silence.

Or...mostly silence.

Except for the overly loud breathing beside me.

The rustling outside the window.

The words downstairs...

I tune Rosalie out.

"Bella?"

I crush my eyelids together. That voice brings with it a lot of pain.

"Bella? Are you alright...?"

I give up ignoring the voice beside me. My eye's snap open. I can see all the individual colors in the suns rays, every grain in the iron of the bed, every thread in the covers.

"I'm..." my voice sounds musical to my ears. "Fantastic." I sit up, the movement so fast, it's not even thought of and it's done. "Where's a mirror?"

Edward brings forward a small hand mirror. My one worry was that I would not be beautiful...I stare in shock at the stunning woman in the mirror, even with red eyes.

"You are not forgiven, though." I say. Not even close. You thought Jacob was it, all the revenge I would exact? Keep dreaming.

I watch his face fall, and the hurt part of me sings in happiness.

Pay back's a bitch.


	18. Chapter 18

**Bella's POV**

It takes me some time to come to terms with being a vampire. Alice offers to help, which I accept grudgingly, after all, I decide, it wasn't her who did the deed, for all she could have told me. Or stopped them.

She shows me how to use my skills, how to stretch my muscles and run, how to jump, how to hunt.

I test my fighting skills out on Rosalie.

The first morning, after my change, I come down the stairs to find her there on her own. One look, one _implied_ look, and I launch instinctually. The sound is exactly like the ones the Cullen's made when playing baseball and I find some odd comfort in that. Even as I attempt to tear out her eyes.

We roll on the floor, more often than not with me on top thanks to the advantages of being a newborn vampire.

I tear at her precious hair, claw at her perfect skin, snarling and biting, trying to find some purchase.

Until Emmett and Jasper rip me off her.

Even then I kick and bite and scream, knowing how much better I would feel if I never had to see her smirking face again.

She stands in a corner, running her hands over her face, testing for damage, which I unfortunately was not given enough time to inflict properly.

When she finds nothing, she grins broadly and prances from the room to my renewed irritation.

"Bella, give it up." Emmett croaks, pulling desperately at my arm, trying to keep me from breaking free. A wave of calm and forgiveness washes over me. I throw a weak attempt at a glare towards Jasper.

"Sorry, Bella. It's just...not right. Though we've all considered it." Even Emmett nods.

"Huh." I sniff. "You can let me go now."

Yeah, right. I can't even hear Rosalie any more by the time they let me go, and that's saying a _lot_, because I can faintly hear the waves hitting the beach in La Push. She's probably half way to Tanya by now.

I snarl in irritation, stalk out the back door and into the trees, not even bothering to be delicate as I tear apart the first animal I find, a deer grazing a small patch of grass.

When I am full, and covered with a ridiculous amount of my meal, I return, fortunately to the continued absence of Rosalie.

But not Edward.

"Love..." he tries as I enter the house.

"You can't possibly be talking to _me_, Edward, could you?"

"Bella, please..."

I round on him, furious. "Did you think changing me would mean all was forgiven? Not even close, buddy. I only slept with Jacob _once_," he recoils. "I still have a lot to make up for. "Maybe I'll try Mike Newton."

His eyes bulge. "You'd kill him!"

"Eh, what's a bit of collateral damage, hey?"

"Bella, do you have any idea what you're saying?"

"I know exactly what I am saying." I glare, furious.

Alice intervenes then. "Let's go somewhere, Bella." Her eyes shine with a desperate light.

I nod.

* * * * *

So here we are.

Who knew vamps had their own places to go, well away from humans?

Alice does.


	19. Chapter 19

**Bella's POV**

"So!" I yell over the thumping beat. "A vampire night club is something Edward never mentioned!"

Alice grins. "You don't have to yell, Bella. I can hear you quite clearly."

"Oh." I grin at her sheepishly, realizing I could hear her, too, plain as day. "Well, still, never a word."

"Edward has never been one for night life. Jasper and I, and Emmett and R..." She cut short at the look on my face. "Well, the rest of us enjoy a night out sometimes. It's easier to let go when it's all your own kind."

I nod, swaying to the beat. A good place to start. I glanced across at the bar, where an extremely attractive man eyes me off appreciatively.

Alice's view follows mine. "Some of us come here for more than just a night out." She frowns. "Bella, you wouldn't..."

"What does it matter if I did, hey Alice? Would you tell me it's not right? That I made a _vow_, by chance?" I wink at the man.

"No." She gazes at me sullenly. "I'd call you both a pair of fools."

I watch as the male rises gracefully from his seat, saunters slowly over in my direction. Alice crosses her arms over her chest.

"Hello, sweetheart." His smooth voice rolls over me, and I hear the trace of an accent. "Wanna dance?"

I glance into his red eyes, ignoring the meaning of the color, intrigued by his shoulder length dark hair and sinuous movements.

"Sure." I turn my face from Alice's disappointed look. The man leads me onto the floor, spinning me around and pulling my hips forcefully into his own, grinding against my back.

I grin, adding my own movements, feel the evidence of his desire for me, reassured of my own appeal.

I could remain this way all night, and I am sill deciding whether to take this further when Alice finally drags me away.

"Made enough of a show, yet?" She frowns.

"Not even close, Alice. I haven't taken anyone home. Isn't the ultimate revenge, him walking in on me with someone else?"

"Oh, Bella, please don't."

My eyes narrow. I think that would be a great idea.


	20. Chapter 20

"Bella, seriously, think about what you are doing." Alice begs. "Wasn't Jacob enough?"

I frown. Okay, so I know she is right, but I am still so upset...I just can't believe I have paid him back enough yet...

Aha.

"I have a much better idea."

"Please don't tell me you are planning to hunt Tanya down."

I smile. "As tempting an idea as that is, no."

My eyes peruse the room. The guy I had been dancing with before has already left, his phone number tucked into the back pocket of my very tight jeans.

"Is there any one here you know?" I ask casually.

Alice's eyes narrow. "What are you up to now?"

"Nothing near as bad as my last thought. Well, mostly. But you didn't answer my question. Is there?"

Alice looked around quickly. "Of course. Maggie and Siobhan. Garrett. Benjamin and Tia."

Hmm, the possibilities. "Exclude the females. Which male do you trust the most?"

She frowns at me.

"That would be Garrett. Where, exactly, is this conversation heading?"

"I told you, I have a much better idea. Could you please introduce me to this Garrett?"  
"Not until you tell me why."

"Just point him out then, that will do."

"Bella..."

I grimace. It seems I have to pull the guilt card on her.

"Come on, Alice, don't you think you owe me something for this mess?"

Her eyes widen, misery evident.

"Bella, I wish..."

"Yeah, yeah, if wishes were horses beggars would ride. Just introduce me to Garrett."

She nods curtly, leads me over to a tall man, with the requisite red eyes and shaggy sandy colored hair.

"Alice! It's been a long time." Alice reaches up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "Still following that bizarre alternate lifestyle of yours, hey?"

"Sure am. Garrett, this is Bella. My newest sister."

He smiles down at me. "Bella, is it? So one of you follows the usual pattern, at least."

"Not even close." Alice grins. "She's a newbie."

His eyes widen. "I thought you lot were against that kind of thing?"

"We made...an exception."

"Oh. That would make an interesting story."

"Mmm." She answered absently. "Bella had a question for you apparently." Alice's eyes drift out of focus as Garrett and I watch her. Slowly a huge smile spreads across her face. "Oh, much better Bella." She turns to me. "And the answer is yes, although you should probably ask the question first." Her grin widens. "Absolutely brilliant."

"Glad you think so." I laugh.


	21. Chapter 21

"I seem to be missing something." Garrett's red eyes pass over me curious. Alice can't stop herself from snickering.

"See," I begin. "I married Alice's brother."

"Oh, Eddy finally found someone!" Alice nodded, covering her mouth.

"But I stayed human for ages afterwards. In fact, funny story, I'm only a vamp now because he felt so guilty…"

Alice managed to control her giggles long enough to steer us to a couple of seats.

"Oh?" Garrett looked only mildly interested in what I was saying, seeming much more inquisitive about what had Alice in such a state.

"What happened was, he wouldn't sleep with me, for fear he would hurt me, so he slept with someone else instead."

Finally his red eyes were focused entirely on me, pitying. "I am very sorry. I don't see the humor, though."

"Oh, you will." Alice snickered.

I cut past my time with Jake. "And now, I want my revenge."

Garrett watched me carefully, his mouth turning down a the corners.

"I don't think I'm the man you're after."

"Oh, it's not precisely what you think." Alice said. "It's more…"

"How well can you hide your thoughts?" I interrupt.

"Sorry?" He looked entirely perplexed.

"He'll do fine." Alice answered for him, before returning to her giggling fit.

"Can you concentrate on something completely insignificant?"  
"If I need to. I'm not seeing your point though."

I turn quickly to Alice. "You can shield your, too, right?"

"Easy." She waved her hand dismissively. "I've been around Edward for years, I've had plenty of practice."

"I have a plan, you see." I return my gaze to Garrett, still utterly stumped. "But it requires you help…"

"Alright…"  
"Come home with me?" I smile.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N – Yes, yes the last one was a bit of a tease, I couldn't help myself…of course I wanted to see if you could guess what was coming too…but anyway, here you go. What does she have planned? Read on…**

**Bella's POV**

I left Alice to explain the details of what I asked to Garrett, whilst I caught a breath of fresh air (figuratively speaking). This idea would hopefully resolve my need for revenge, but not in the kind of way that would really be too hurtful…we'll see.

The plan is this; I have asked Garrett to come home with me, clearly, under the guise of a fling…and to Edward's ears and mind, that's precisely what it will be.

Reality…it's all acting. I wonder how I'll be able to keep myself from laughing as I pretend to be enjoying him…

At least I don't have to worry about my thoughts. I only hope Garrett and Alice can keep theirs hidden.

Finally, they emerge, both grinning widely.

"Ok," Garrett laughs. "Let's do this." Alice skips ahead to the car, her precious yellow Porsche. Sometimes, running isn't an option.

* * * * *

A few miles from home, Alice pulls the car onto the shoulder of the road. "Okay." She says, stern. From now on, he'll be able to get glimmers of our minds. Well, all except yours Bella. Garrett, you and I need to keep on track." One final impish grin, then her face alters, complete concentration. After a moment, she smiles, winks at me and drives on.

I am almost certain Edward will be able to tell I am faking the moment I get out of the car and lean against Garrett. My giggles seem too high pitched, too forced. But Alice nods at me, arranges her face in a carefully disapproving frown.

I giggle again, and Garrett slips an arm around my waist. "Is this where you live, beautiful?" He smirks. He's much better at this than I am. "Which one's your room?"

"Up there." I point to a window high up, completely dark and silent. With vampire speed he scoops me up and races through the door. I catch sight of Edward's miserable face and for a moment I feel extraordinarily regretful. Only for a moment though. Garrett takes his acting to the extreme, flinging open my bedroom door. I giggle again.

"Mmm. Take off those jeans." Amusement flickers through his eyes, and the play begins for real…

**Edward's POV**

I hear the Garrett and Alice's thoughts well before they reach the house. Alice, furious, but her hands tied. Garret…thrilled to pieces. Bella is a beauty worth having it seems, a wonderful trophy for any man's shelf. I can not believe Alice would allow her to leave with _him_…

Well, what do I expect? Do I really deserve anything else?

Bella sounds so happy when she returns, hanging off her conquests arm, he eagerly anticipating the night to come…for a moment I think I see remorse in her eyes as they pass, but that is quickly overshadowed by the desirous train of Garrett's thoughts.

"Take off those jeans." I cover my ears, wishing desperately to be able to block out the sound of their enjoyment of each other. Emmett glares at me from across the room.

"Are you just going to sit there like a pussy?"

"Piss off Emmett."

"If that was Rose, I can tell you now, I would have knocked that guy's head off before he even made it through the door."

"Yeah, but would Rose have any reason to feel like she had to do that?"

"Well, no. But that's beside the point."

Alice's eyes flickered to the roof, the thuds becoming considerably louder. _Seriously, Bella._ Flits through her thoughts.

"Bro…"

I glare at Emmett on final time before I give in. "Fine. I have to admit it, I can't stand this." I slowly lift myself from my chair, wincing at a particularly thrilling sound from Bella.

I walk, at a ridiculous human pace, up the stair case. Do I really want to do this? Actually _see _my wife in bed with another man? Wasn't it bad enough sifting through Jacob's memories.

_No._ My conscious answers for me. _You should have to suffer exactly what you made her suffer. And more._

One final very soft sigh, and I push open my bedroom door.


	23. Chapter 23

**Edward's POV**

I push open the bedroom door to find…

Bella sitting cross legged on the bed. And Garrett preparing to make a fresh dent in my walls.

What the hell is going on?

Garrett spots me first.

"Ah." He looks sheepish. "Hey, Edward. How've you been?" The truth of their little plan flows right through his mind and into mine.

"Oh." So it was…an act? "I think it may be time for you to leave, Garrett."

"Sure, catch you soon. Tell Alice I said bye." And he's gone. The front door swings back into place downstairs.

"Bella?"

I cross the room slowly, barely daring to hope, barely daring to even think.

"Edward." She continues to watch me warily.

"Is this…" I begin.

"This is payback." She says plainly. "I couldn't go through it for real, but I thought at least you should know what it feels like to _know_, to walk to the door _knowing_ what you would see."

If we could cry, we would be.

"I thought Jake would be enough." She says softly, but the words are like a knife. If vampires could truly die by a stake through the heart, she would have killed me. All his memories of her overwhelm my thoughts.

"But it wasn't. You didn't hurt _enough_. Not like I did."

"Bella, you can't believe it didn't kill me to se his memories."

"Still, you didn't seem…"

"I'm a brilliant actor, remember? If I knew what you needed was to see me hurt, I wouldn't have hidden it."

"It doesn't matter." She shakes her head. "It may still have not been enough."

"I'm so sorry my Bella, truly. Can you ever, ever forgive me?"

"I will always love you, Edward." I don't miss that she avoids my question. "Just love me, please."

"Forever more, Bella. I promise. I'll earn back your trust"

**A/N Okay, so this is technically the last chapter, but I am considering a Bella Edward lemon, just to tie things up nicely; that decision is entirely up to you, dear readers!**

**To reiterate, all praise is really deserved by the holder of the whole idea, unique0987654321, I just put the words in place.**

**If any one else has something they would love written…PM me with a plot! It has amazed me how much I have enjoyed writing for someone else, I am eagerly seeking another…**

**In the meantime, if you enjoyed my writing and would like more, I have a number of my own stories, in various stages of completion, my current favorite being 'A Faire To Remember'…a time traveling romance between Bella and Edward, with some nasty and friendly characters thrown in. The chapters are considerably longer than the ones here =)**

**Final note (I promise!!) Thank you all for the time you have taken to follow this all the way through, I am greatly appreciative. And don't forget…if you want that least lemon…review or message me =)**


	24. Chapter 24

**Bella's POV**

"Starting now?"

He nods at me. My final demands then; well at least for tonight.

"Then love me." I demand.

"I do Isabella. I love you, more than I could possibly explain."

I shake my head. "That's not what I mean. This whole mess started because you wouldn't love me…"

Understanding flickers in his amber eyes. "You would…wish for that?" He asks, unbelieving.

"It's all I wanted, from the first night of our honeymoon."

He starts to cross the room, his eyes liquid gold.

"Stop." I demand.

He does, completely confused.

"I want you to love me on _my_ terms." Never again will I be weak willed Bella, waiting for others to trample my heart into the dust. From now on, I demand what I want, and expect what I demand.

He nods. "What would you have me do, Bella?"

"Strip."

He does, tearing at his clothes…"Slowly." I smile. "I want to enjoy it."

He obliges, continuing with his efforts slowly, allowing me to admire every inch of his skin with my new eyesight, more beautiful than anything I have ever seen.

He stands before me, proud ad glorious in his naked state.

"Now strip me." I smile.

What before was liquid gold is now amber flame, burning me as he closes the space between us and slowly undoes the buttons on my blouse.

"You can do this fast."

My clothes are gone in the blink of an eye.

"What next, my Bella?" His hands twitch; clearly desperate to reach out and touch…I walk away slowly, towards the bed. When he moves to follow, I stop and frown. "Stay there."

He does, stands still as a statue as I continue on. I spin around once I reach the edge of the gold coverings, lean lightly against the bed before sliding on.

Spreading my knees slightly, I smile widely. "I'll bet you can guess what comes next."

To a human's eye, his movement would not even exist, but now that I am a vampire…I see the lurch as he darts forward, the disbelief in what I am asking.

"Are you sure, my Bella?"

"I have never been more certain."

His hands, once so cold, now ideally warm, slide along my legs from my ankles to my knees, pushing them a little further apart before smoothing outward over my thighs to cup my ass.

He kisses along the untouched skin on my inner thigh before breathing softly on my centre.

I shiver.

"No teasing." I demand. "I want it now."

"As you wish." And he buries his face in me, his tongue lapping expertly at my folds, my clit, gradually slipping inside me to mimic the thrusting I expect of him later. My back arches, and a feral growl rises in my throat.

I feel the smile against me, he seems proud of his effect on me, before he continues with even more enthusiasm then he had been displaying.

A tight knot grows in my belly, twisting and turning like a snake until the snake explodes, my eyes squeeze shut, and stars shine in the darkness.

"My Bella?" Edward asks when I have fallen away from the sky, finally feel the dampness between my legs, the covers beneath me. "What else would you like me to do, love?"

"Everything." I sigh.

His eyebrows rise. "_Everything_? Do you even know what you're asking for?"

"Just love me, Edward."

He nods, and raises himself on his elbows, poised to enter.

"Really, Bella?"

"If you don't do it right now, I may never forgive you Edward Cullen."

Laughing he pushes forward, filling me slowly, stretching my muscles in the most delightful way.

I sigh, relieved at the feeling of fullness in me. He draws out and enters me again, very slowly, and I groan flipping him over so I am riding him. As I pick up speed, I lean forward to whisper. "You are mine. Never forget that, ever again."

His face is open, filled with lust and love. "Never. You are my Bella and I am your Edward, for all eternity."

I ride him harder, faster, and the snake returns, twisting, knotting.

Edward grits his teeth, moaning, slides his hands to my hips to draw me down harder.

I watch in satisfaction as his face crumples and with one final pulling of my hips he comes, and I fly with him, back to the stars, and forward into our future.

If only the rest of the world could stay away forever.

**Yeah, I agree, it needed a bit more…lol. Besides, it's so hard to let go…**


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